Every Monday morning I pick up my vlogging camera to start recording my new writing week for my behind-the-scenes-of-my-writing-week on YouTube.
But this time it’s the Monday morning after the saddest weekend I’ve ever had whilst being a chicken and duck keeper. I’d mentioned what had happened on Instagram - of course I had because the chickens and the ducks were a regular feature in my Instagram Stories. They were part of my life, part of my creative life.
I had messages from people saying that the ducks bursting for freedom every morning was the highlight of their Instagram viewing.
Their enthusiasm for the start of a new day was joyful to behold.
And I said to my husband, after we’d spent a few hours searching for feathered bodies or anyone who might be still alive but hiding, ‘how am I going to tell everyone on Instagram? They’ll be so upset.’
He laughed gently and gave me a hug. ‘But we’re upset, too,’ he replied.
I think there is a fear of showing the sadder moments on Instagram - or any aspect of online life. The times when things don’t go to plan. The times when you’re in pain. The times when keeping chickens isn’t all bird song and wandering about in a linen apron filling the pockets with glorious eggs.
The reality can be heartbreaking.
The chickens and ducks changed my life. You can read about that here. But they also helped me with my writing and creativity. I’ve written about that in my Patreon essay (which will hopefully become a book at some point).
So that’s why this week’s vlog hasn’t started with a glorious sunrise, or the ducks running about. It starts with me red faced and crying.
